I have always struggled with endings. For most of my life I have equated endings with failure, especially those unsuccessful endings. I have always wondered what I could have done better or in other ways for things to be different in the end. I think much of this stems from growing up in a culture that praises performance and self. I think a lot of it also has to do with me being afraid of conflict. I want everyone to be happy and laugh and having a good time. I don’t want dissension and turmoil. Even just thinking about it causes the pit of my stomach to turn.
I am not going to tell you that a book cured me of all of this. I am not sure that is possible. However Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud has helped me to put much of my issues into focus surrounding these issues. The strength of this book is found in it requiring the reader to work through some self-awareness issues. It is in discovering these things that you are able to discern what is preventing you from handling endings well, especially when they are long overdue. Now you can read this book passively and never be confronted in these areas. However, reading this book in this way will not allow you to really get all you could out of working through this book. If you allow this book to push on you and help you grow it will. This book is not perfect, none is, and the author himself says the principles he outlines can be followed too rigidly and dogmatically, but I still recommend you reading this book actively.